Life Currently
My life right now seems a little bit overwhelming. Hard work is required to keep me ahead, but sometimes I lack the alertness and clarity of mind to direct my hard work. I feel as if my focuses in life at this time are stressful and limited.
My job contributes to a majority of the difficulty in my life. The hours I work keep me tired and less alert for the rest of the week. I work twelve hours Saturdays and Sundays from 6:00 A.M. to 6:00 P.M. as a security guard at a warehouse. My job is very stressful. I have to wake up early in the morning and stay awake for twelve hours, which is difficult to do if I wasn’t working. I check in truck drivers then direct them where and how to dock to get their trucks loaded and unloaded. My job requires extreme patience, assertiveness, politeness, and correct social conversations. Most of the truck drivers are very tired, ignorant, and easily irritated. It is hard to be nice to people when they are ignorantly mad at you. If they are mad for good reason it is not my fault because I do not make any decisions concerning the loading or unloading of trucks. I just take orders. I understand why truckers are the way they are. They are awake for to long, but I probably get less sleep then they do so I don’t think they have an adequate excuse for their behavior. After working during the weekend, I get to go to school!!
If I did not have to work, I would probably do better in school. Mornings are really horrible experiences for me. When my alarm clock rings, I have an argument with myself. I feel as if my half asleep consciousness argues with my waking consciousness. I realize, even when I am awake, the almost exact time it would take to get ready and go to school in extreme optimal conditions. In a hypothetical extreme optimal condition, I can wake up at a later time and arrive for my first class almost exactly on time. I realize, however, that extreme optimal conditions sometimes do not occur so I would have to wake up earlier to make up for some kind of disaster that could take place, like someone parking my car in. So almost every morning my sleeping consciousness argues that there will be optimal conditions that morning. My more reasonable consciousness argues that there will probably not be optimal conditions. My English teacher gets to figure out which side has won.
I like many different fields of study. This may be an asset later on, but for now it is more of a liability. I would like to get a PhD in Mathematics and Psychology. I would also like to have a greater understanding of Philosophy, Chemistry, and Physics. Because I like so many different subjects, I am in enrolled in a large variety of classes. The required thinking for each class I attend sometimes seams to conflict with each other. The thinking required for Psychology seems to conflict with the thinking required for Mathematics. It seems like I am being stretched in many different directions, and I am too tired to stretch adequately. I usually wind up with a tear somewhere. The tear may be in English!!
Basically, the main focus of my life seems to be those things mentioned above. I do not really have time for entertainment except for the limited entertainment found in learning. Hopefully I will work harder at doing well in life, and I will develop better strategies to direct my hard work.
©2008 Justin A. Bancroft
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Another short writing by Justin A. Bancroft